# Instances of Life & Death



## Francis Vineyard (Feb 17, 2017)

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer was questioning Clyde.

“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the…”

“I didn’t ask for any details”, the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?”

Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie”.

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “How are you feeling?”

“Now tell me, what you WOULD say!?”


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## kathy5 (Feb 22, 2017)

Pretty long post. Really heart touching. How can he be so cruel like this? Oooo..


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## Francis Vineyard (Feb 24, 2017)

kathy5 said:


> Pretty long post. Really heart touching. How can he be so cruel like this? Oooo..



After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asked, “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”

She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”


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## Eric007 (Mar 2, 2017)

Francis Vineyard said:


> A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer was questioning Clyde.
> 
> “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer.
> 
> ...



That's so cruel.. The cow could've been saved if she was given aid soon after the accident.The world is so cruel.


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